| wonderful |
[Jun. 22nd, 2007|09:48 am] |
|
So I am about as unhappy as I can get right now. Just when I thought i was doing things right I fuck them up. I lied to mym om about going into work yesterday becuase I knew she would be mad at me, and she found out anyway. GREAT. the reason I didn't go to work was becuase Iw as going on job interveiws all night. Apperently work called me a bunch to say they needed me, didn't get the messages till about 10 mins ago. YAY for my phone, so now work is pissed at me, my mom is pissed at me. and all I want to do is crawl into a hole. I think I found a few jobs down at school I can work. BUT yet again mom isn't happy with that. I think I am going to put in my two weeks at CVCC today or sunday becuase I found the other jobs. I tell my mom this and instead of saying ohhh thats good, or somehitng all she is can say is "what about your animals?" Well I don't know. The drive up here kills me, why should I drive over an hr to come to work when I can drive 15/20 mins and go to work making the same amount of money if not more? I don't know. I try to make things better in my life and it seems to make them worse. who the fuck knows. I give up. |
|
|
| Song |
[Mar. 25th, 2007|10:05 pm] |
Have you ever herd a song and it's like it was written just for you? Well I found this song for me. It's called Daddy's Eyes and it's by Jake Coco I am going to write out the words. But I think everyone should go and listen to it. If you go to Youtube and put in Jake coco all his video's com up. But here is the song.
They say shes got her Daddy's eyes
She hides them well behind her mama's smile
They say she knows she beautiful
They say she's got her daddy's heart
She can't hide when there no where else to start
They say she knows she beautiful, but that won't get her anywhere today
She says "Daddy I know your listening. Daddy i know your there cause I've been talking with angels and they tell me you still care"
They say shes got her daddy's pride
She walks around all day with her head held up so high
They say she knows shes beautiful, but that won't get her anywhere today
She says, "Daddy I know your listening, and daddy I know your there. Cause Ive been talking with angels, they tell me you still care."
But now shes growing up, shes moving up, she needs someone to tell her why the grass is green,
the sky is blue,
it's all ok I'm here for you
Shes growing up, she moving out, she needs someone so she screams and shouts. "Daddy can, Daddy can you hear me?"
and I said, "Baby I know your listening, Baby I know your there. Because Ive been talking with angels up here, and they tell me to tell you that I still care."
They say she's got her daddy's charm
If she could only make those light in Broadways shine, she can truly be a star
They say she knows shes beautiful, but that won't get you anywhere today. |
|
|
| Black friday Adventure! |
[Nov. 24th, 2006|03:02 pm] |
So my best friend has this great idea yesterday that he wants to get a 51 inch from best buy today. HDTV for like 700 bucks! I was like wow sounds great, not even realizing there is a HUGE catch. We got to Best Buy at 3 am. I knew there was going to be a line but GOD DAMN this people are nuts, some people were there at 9 pm the night before! WHAT WHAT! so Best Buy had this great idea to give out tickets of the hot items to the people in the front of line. GREAT! but a few scum bags were trying to sell there fucking tickets!!!!! again WHAT! ok, so we are standing there freezing our asses off, with no coffee, and this lady walks right up the front of line, I guess her husband/ boyfriend were there, and EVERYONE started to scream at this poor lady. She just gave her husband the list and walked away. so now its 5am the door open. YAY right? NO! We finally get in the store at like 5:30 and people were running EVERYWHERE! I was scared for my life. Chris (BF) runs to the TV's I go to the hard drive section, get my keyboard and then try to get these 1 gig flash drive. GONE, keep in mine it is 5:30 at this point and theses drives are gone!
You would think this is the end, NOPE WRONG! so we go talk to the TV guy and are like sweet we can get the tv, he then sends us to this LONG ASS line to wait to pay for the TV. now his little brothers call me, they are circut city and are done, it is like 7 am at this point, I leave Best Buy to get them drive them home, and adventure back to get Chris. OK, so I am on my way back and the parking lot is packed, like i have never seen so many angry people in my life. I need to make a left into the Best Buy parking lot i am sitting there now the people going straight can't go anywhere so I am like SWEET I will get to turn. NOPE WRONG AGAIN! this fucking cunt pulls up and blocks the entire fucking intersection. so I inch my best ass SUV as close to her car as I can, and start screaming at the top my lungs. she starts screaming back about hos she has the right of way. I call her a cunt and some other 4 letter words and try to explain that all these people making lefts could have turned if wasn't such a fucking POS.
SOOOOOO now I get a spot go in the store, and Chris has JUST payed for the god damn TV. it's 8 fucking o'clock I have been up since like 2:30 and an hungry and STILL HAVE NOT HAD MY FUCKING COFFEE. we THAN find out the TV wont fit in the SUV and I am now waiting for him so we can go to the mad house called Best Buy and pick up this fucking TV HE HAD TO HAVE! so that is my Black Friday Adventure. and I will NEVER EVER EVER EVER do this again, unless I really need something and then I will make Chris camp the fuck out and get it. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Nov. 2nd, 2006|11:26 am] |
So I just came from work, school work, and it was awful. I basically got made fun of becuase I am 22 a super senior and I am still not graduatiing until next year. This one girl I HATE was basically calling me old and pathtic. I wanted to cry. I don't think I am going to work there next year. I will be 23 and working at school? I never see myself as old, but than I go to work and I feel like a loser. I found this little passage on a friend from high schools Myspace. it fits so well with how I am feeling. At AIPH I never felt old/young/anything becuase everyone was alll over the board. In my anthro classes I don't feel anything becuase there are so many different ages. However, my ED and going to work I feel like shit. So this is how I am feeling right now and this passage sums it up.
Being Twenty-Something
They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going
along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those
friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the
greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job...and it is not even close to what you thought
you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.
One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused.
Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.
One-night-stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.
You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. |
|
|
| Holloween |
[Oct. 29th, 2006|02:29 pm] |
|
ARGH! Holloween is tuesday and I didnt do ANYTHING this weekend, like most people did. No parties no clubs, no anything. Tuesday everyone goes to jacks, but can I?? NOOO I have court!!! YAY FOR BEING A LOSER!!!!!!!!!! Did I mention I didn't get invited to anything holloween realted? |
|
|
| update |
[Oct. 24th, 2006|12:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Student Center | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | music |
| | People talking | ] |
Up date on my life. Busy. lol. Scool is going well i guess, I don't really know, It seems everytime I turn around I have something else do, or to do. I have a palcement this semster in a school for serverly disabilied students. I LOVE IT! It reminds me of my old job at ARC. The kids are great, the TA's are great, the teacher is great! Most people can't deal with the students who can't talk/walk/really communcate, but that is the popualtion I want to work with. Mainly becuase people feel they can not do anything productive for society when in reality that is sooooooo not true. I am sure I will update about that a lot this semster.
I think I am getting sick..booo I can't breath, my eyes are puffy, and all I want to do is sleep. I don't really want to move, I REALLY don't want to go to class n a few minutes, but oh well I ghuess I have too.
Off I go to class...yay for not having time to do SHIT!!! |
|
|
| holy wow |
[Sep. 6th, 2006|02:01 pm] |
So I am sitting here at 2 am thinking to myself what the hell am I going to do since I can't sleep? and it hit me like a fucking rock..UHHH DUH update my live journal and read up on everyone else. I also think what made me do it is that today was the first day of classes. and it sucked. let me tell you about it shall i??
I had to wake up super early b/c I slept at my moms house last night becuase YES I still work at Cherry Valeey 2 to 3 times a week. It started to rain on my drive down and my car hates the rain. Ok my car hates anything that isn't 75 and sunny. I am still dribing the same car I have had since I got my fucking permit. Everytime I think I have saved money something comes up and I have no money again. Story of my life oh well right? ok back to my day. so I get back to my apt to change for work. Change, go to work. I am 15 mins early like always (way anal about being late) and right away I am told I have to give the 10 o'clock tour...OH WAIT i guess Is houdl tell you all yes I am still at monmouth, and I have a job there being a fucking tour guide for the school, Funny I know.....ok now keep in mind I HATE THE RAIN!! and I am getting sick and I am already cranky b/c well I am. so yeah I give the 10 tour, come back and I have a PILE of shit to do. Now I don't want to toot my own horn, but I will. I got this job at the start of summer and I already have more responsabilty than most of the people who have been there for over a year. I don't mind staying busy but damn! hehe. so I am now cold/wet/cranky/and have a lot of shit to do. I cget MAYBE 1/8 of it done when 12 hits. I leave b/c i have class at one and I want to eat and shit b4 class. I go get all my books which cost 595 bucks( NOT HAPPY) and now I go to get some food. AND THAN IT HITS ME I have been at Monmouth for 4 semsters now and i STILL eat lunch alone everyday...yep I am a loser. I walk in everyone is hugging saying hi, eating laughing. and who talks to me? the people that work there...I get my food and I sit. I start to eat feeling pretty shitty about myself, when my boss, and 2 other "admissions counclers" walk by. My boss (who I might add is less than 6 months older than me) sees me and does the pitty come sit with us. so I go. I eat I go to class. MY TEACHER doesn't fucking show up. Now I dont have to be BACK at work until 2:15. WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO NOW? nothing thats what so I go back to work early. Start BACK on my pile of shit to do. now I am REALLY wet and cold and unhappy. and I get told I have to give YET ONE MORE TOUR FOR THE DAY! now normally i wouldnt care but I have been busting my ass and there are 8 YES 8 other people sitting up on the 4th floor DOING JACK SHIT. so I go and give the god damn tour. come back it is now 3 fucking 15, and I STILL have a shit ton of work to do. I stay until 5:45..45 mins later than I was suppsoed to and when I go in tomorrow I have even more to do.
So that was my day in a nut shell. Might not seem like that bad of day to some people but it was to me for many other reasons but eh.
Now on to vent. It seems like everytime a new semster starts I want to cry. I still feel like I have no friends at Monmouth. When I sit and eat lunch alone it makes me want to cry. Normally I would LOVe to eat lunch alone, but today it was hard. Becoming a tour guide was good but bad. Good b/c I met new people bad becuase well I see all these ppl who know eachother already and I can't get into their little world. And then I started thinking back to AIPH and how I felt the same way there. Kim and Jay just got a new house and I got invited to their house warming oarty on saturday at first was super happy but the more and more I think about it the more and more I don't want to go. I am going to go and feel like crap, have that feeling of not fitting in, of everyone having those inside jokes that I will never be a part of.
WOW I am just babbling at this point but it feels good to get it out. The more I think about things the more I realize there are about 4 ppl I will always be bale to count on. 1. My mom 2. My sister 3. My Grandma 4. Chris. and that's it. I try to get other friends and meet other ppl and get that core grp pf friends I never had but it WILL never happen. Eh. whatever right?
so, yeah that's basically it. I am going to keep on this now. But at the same time what's the point, I think the only person who still reads this is Brook..lol great. |
|
|
| its been a while |
[Jun. 17th, 2006|04:29 pm] |
|
So thought I would give an update to anyone who still reads this. I had 4 jobs at one point, BUT The twins I was nannying no longer need me(nothing I did) so I am down to three. Now normal people would be ok with this. BUt the resturant I am working at doesnt open until july 5, and the job at school doesnt start full swing until july 10. I am freaking out. I am broke, and bored. I need to keep busy. I hate it. classes are going well, I guess. lol. I don't know I have about 20 pages to write and 2 weeks to do it, I should get started. lol |
|
|
| SCRAPBOOKING |
[May. 7th, 2006|10:03 am] |
|
So yesterday I went to an all day scrapbooking event thing. I was the youngest person there,a nd these people were HARDCORE scrapbooking people. I can't even tell you how crazy these people were. But it was fun. I made a really big dent in to the book I was working on. It was a lot of fun. The only thing is I didn't win anything :(. but eh whatever. I bought some cool shit, and THEN I came home and QVC had 2 hrs of scrapbooking shit on. Well I wa sin hevan, granted I felt like my grandmother but WHATEVER! And I bought more shit. lol. but it was good deals that you couldnt pass up it was just TOO good. lol. so yeah I spent way to much money yesterday, money I don't have. Good thing I have 3 jobs this summer, huh? lol. well 4 if you count my summer classes I am taking. so thats my story on how I am turning into an old lady. |
|
|
| wisdom teeth and more |
[Feb. 25th, 2006|09:36 am] |
Got my two bottom wisdom teeth out yesterday. I look like a chipmonk and it hurts a lot. People told me it would but god damn this sucks. and they didn't give me PERCS, and the fucking pain killers they gave me dont work. FUCKERS I hate them I should kill them, anf I forgot to ask him to seemy teeth when we was it makes me sad :( I wanted to see them and maybe even keep them. But when they were putting me to sleep I was trying to fight it and it didn't work I passed out lol. It was the first time I got laughing gas it made me tickle all over. hehehehehe. alright I g2g and get me H.W. done feel free to call and make fun of me.
| You Are Austin | 
A little bit country, a little bit rock and roll.
You're totally weird and very proud of it.
Artistic and freaky, you still seem to fit in... in your own strange way.
Famous Austin residents: Lance Armstrong, Sandra Bullock, Andy Roddick |
|
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8){kind=small}
nopunk4u10405's journal